I’ve been away…
but now I’m back and ready to reflect on the phenomenon known as the “summer holidays”. If you want to see a real melting pot in Britain today visit a “family attraction” that will relieve you of at least £50 to get in with all your little inmates (or is it ingrates) and let you mill around (or queue) with thousands of other similarly afflicted adults dressed in civvies. It seems that the great Brit on tour (and out of uniform) is still sadly lacking in any sartorial sense whatsoever. Presumably the necessity of whittling ones clothes collection down to the bare assentials (sic) for one suitcase is, if you will, the distilled version of the average modern wardrobe. What horrors lurk within!
Interestingly (or not) bad attire in the summer holidays crosses all cultural and class boundaries and it is nigh on impossible to tell your badly dressed businessman from your irksomely attired Jeremy Kyle watcher. Not that it matters anyway. I went into shock at the cost at each admission to an “attraction” and spent at least an hour calculating average footfall and bottom line on the balance sheet before continuing to be traumatised by an virulent and distressing outbreak of trainers. With everything. Sports trainers are for when you are sporting, folks. They are not and I can hardly bear to utter the term “leisure wear”. Glaring trainers with badly fitting trousers and socks on both men and women are just not on in my book (I took two and could barely be bothered to read one of them to my shame).
Lest you think I did not enjoy my break I am happy to clarify – I did. The days for free, barefoot on the sand were priceless. Take a tip parents – keep the big attraction fleecing to a minimum on your summer hols and please don’t wear trainers unless you are running there.
P.S. It’s not all bad -the sartorial gold medal goes to one lady in linen and cotton floating like an angelic vision through the creeks at the UK Crabbing Championships @ Walberswick – more on that later!