“A Tall White Mute”

Wot I have learned in the new ice age.

That the weather forecasters are mainly wrong about the timing, the quantities and location of snowfall.

That BMWs spin their tyres a lot and that in these conditions the TinCanfromJapan is an effective conveyance. Snow chains – Honda Civic = you decide.

That a heated pitch does not a match in heaven make.

That not even the Poet Laureate can compose a  2010 snow poem without cliches, although she wrote one about a snowman prior to her Laureateship than I am quite keen on here.

“You don’t understand  a word I’m saying, do you?”

Snow Horse by Ray Keller

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Posted on January 12, 2010, in Poetry, Words and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 19 Comments.

  1. We have an antique BMW 3 in our family – ‘Use less in the snow,’ as my plumber mate once memorably txted me.

    • I shall do the foot thing again today – stuck at a right angle across our street at 10 last night was not an edifying spectacle!

  2. That’s a great horse by the way, better than that Black and White minstrels ice sculpture of Jimi Hendrix that’s for sure.

  3. You need to get yourself a Landrover. Although that does preclude every being allowed a snow day.

  4. You may have one as you live in the wilds. I detest urbanites in them.

    What happens when you push the “snow” button in Andy? I forgot to pursue this with you t’other day.

    • Given what’s occuring on Haldon Hill I have revised my opinion. Everyone should have one.

      • If I could get hold of Anne Marie’s boss I would put him at the top of Holden Hill and roll him down it with icepacks strapped onto him (horrid image). This month officially terrible what with snow nightmares, postponement of nuptials and celebrations, more snow, snow rescues, redundancies and little Theo had his appendix out today as well.

  5. Poor Theo. Hope all is ok now x

  6. One more thing… on the subject of poetry … I’m partial to a bit of it but I can’t bear the whole special I’m Reading a Poem voice that people have. So much so I can barely listen to R4 Poetry Please. Even Carol Ann Duffy has a voice. Perhaps it’s unavoidable. Come to think of it though, while she’s not the greatest poet, I don’t mind listening to Pam Ayres reading out lot!

  7. Michael Rosen is good in the Reading a Poem in My Normal Voice respect I think.

    I know what you mean about our Laureate. Her snow poem on R4 last week was infuriating. Which was a shame because I wanted to like it.

  8. You should do a Virginia Woolf list for the blog. Things I Can Barely Tolerate:

    ITV Drama
    Poetry Please
    Men’s bare bottoms in the house (or outside?)
    etc.

    It would be illuminating 🙂

    • Spookily I just read this and am currently (half) watching The Hours which is all about La Woolf. And I would probably add Nicole Kidman with or without prosthetic nose to my list Woolfish list

      • I tried to look at that the other night, but I couldn’t understand what Meryl Streep was up to and gave up.

        Like so many things in life.

        I don’t remember seeing Nicole though. I must wear my glasses when looking at tv – they help me see the cast and lip-read the dialogue better!

  9. Do you mean men’s bare bottoms in the Big Brother House, or in any house?

    * Coughs * * Puts on voice *

    I wandered lonley as a Big Brother house
    That glades through the screen
    When Davina McCalls ***

    etc

    *** She’d get onto my Virgina Woolf list

  10. Without putting words in Sororial Diva’s mouth – I believe it is an abhorrence of bare bottoms in any house.

    I would have Big Brother on my list. I was forced to be in the same room as it last night and I ended up calling the OH “sweetie” in a Slavic accent. It is, in short, insidious.

  11. Normally I’m not fussed, but this one I love, the chemistry is just spot on. I’m always watching something on the daily basis, and this stands in place of, let’s say, the forthcoming Australian Open. I think I’m addicted to narratives.

    Also I have a soft spot for ‘Holywood Madam’ Heidi Fleiss, who has one of the all-time disaster lip-jobs, who has turned lying about doing f/all all day into an art form and who only occasionally surfaces, if at all, to call someone a dork. : )

  12. Well if we are getting personal – it is Ivana’s ear lobes that hooked me in.

  13. they have been noted this end, too – how on earth have they got through all that cosmetic surgery?

    • Well maybe there’s no such thing as a lobe lift and after too many face lifts your lobes end up round your chin like an African elephant.

      No one wants wrinkles, but rather them than those ears.

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