History of the World in my Handbag

Well you know what I mean. Please be warned that if you are hoping for the contents of my bag to include condoms, lipstick, wraps of A class, or sunglasses you may as well leave now. I don’t have anything so exciting.

Today we have a state of the art broken USB portage type effort (I think). I don’t know where it came from, but I have kept in my bag for more than a year in case its original use comes back to me. It hasn’t.


This object was so special and potentially important I have been keeping it in the inner zip pocket (perpetually unzipped) cheek by jowl with the “Can’t Read or Write” Gremlins beer mat – waste of Government money anyone?

Oh yeah, I’m just getting ragged with my mates down in the Bar that sells only Bottled Blue Drinks followed by Windscreen Wiper Fluid Chasers (proven in the fight against Legionnaire’s Disease). So what I’m really going to do on this banging Friday night is snaffle this sodden card beermat and preserve until I am sober and Get In Touch to literacy myself up. Right.

Get Rid Of Your Gremlins: Nick a Beermat / Clean Out Your Handbag

Back to the USB port. It’s knackered and I’ve chucked it. This blog is a force for cleanliness and order, even if I am not.

And an NB – my red handbag is most SPACIOUS

Posted on July 7, 2010, in Cleaning, Consumerism, Horse racing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Stephen Foster

    Yes but underneath your red handbag there seems to be a MUSIC SHOW going on.

    And I’m expecting a phial of STRAWBERRYDAIQARI to emerge now that you can see to the bottom of it.

  2. Stephen Foster

    If only I’d followed through with the actual wad instead of going for my second choice 😉

  3. My friend backed Music Show but txtd to say he felt sorry for Spacious. At least I got 10/1 ew.

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