On anger

Me and anger have been on first name terms for a long time. I used to find it an all-encompassing vehicle for emotional expression. 

Feel sad? Be angry

Feel hurt? Be angry

Feel rejected? Be angry

Of course this kind of high octane living was unsustainable.  You can’t resolve everything by shouting and shaking your fist; or indeed throwing things and smashing crockery, however good it might feel to release some of the emotional energy in the moment. 

What the person who gets angry has to accept is that other people find such voluble acts of emotion frightening.  So you may get the thing off your own chest in some fashion,  but at the same time you damage not just property but your relationships with others.

By the way this is not a lecture.  I know well the feelings of anger that bubble up in one’s gut  as a physical response to a challenging situation. What I have learnt over the years is that those physical feelings do not have to drive my behaviour.  I have found out the hard way admittedly,  but as I see my eldest daughter struggle to manage her quick temper in much the same way I have,  I hope that a little of what I have picked up can benefit her, sooner rather than later.

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Posted on November 24, 2012, in Art, Parenting and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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