Why I hate Christmas

The food:

Crappy chocolate, candy canes, bad mince pies – or overpriced good ones, too much meat, dead turkeys, the smell of the cooking, brussel sprouts, all manner of dried fruits and nuts (which anyone over 40 well knows are the Main Enemy of Teeth), overeating, the stress, the compulsion to buy food, overeat and be stressed fore and aft. Standing in the kitchen hating everyone and hating Christmas.

The gifts:

Too much packaging, wrapping paper, crappy sellotape, stolen sellotape, spending money on things that people (mainly) hate.

The decorations:

Lights polluting the night sky and burning electricity, the competitive neighbours, the trees shoved in the front windows (see competitive neighbours), fake snow, winter wonderlands from October in terrible shops, baubles.

The Post Office: or anything to do with stamps and queuing and last posting dates. All terrible.

The madness

The loss of perspective

The lies

The crazy expectations

The mindless staring at the tv

The fact that my brain shuts down to cope and then doesn’t get going again until mid-January

The passing of another year closer to dying

Yes, that just about covers it.

PS My youngest daughter read this and called me a Scrooge. Maybe she’s right.

Posted on December 22, 2014, in Be not idle and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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