Monthly Archives: January 2018
Turns out that, far from making you fart and look like an idiot, an hour of yoga helps you ping out of bed the next morning without the stiff back (and associated grunting and groaning) you’ve been putting up with for the whole of 2017.
“According to the ONS, no form of commuting enhances overall levels of satisfaction and self-esteem. Worse, its study of 60,000 travellers found that each 10-minute increase in journey time has a significant impact on the well-being of the commuter. On the other hand, once the trip to work exceeded 90 minutes, the harmful effects began to disappear.”
Having just spent half a year trying to avoid driving more than an hour and a half one way to Colchester, and another hour and a half back, I cannot agree with this survey at all. Two hours spent in the car in total was tolerable, three hours was seriously pushing it, tipping over that golden ninety minutes each way sent me steering wheel gnawingly insane.
In my case, exceeding a commute of 90 minutes had a number of ill effects ranging from fatigue, deep grumpiness, migraine, travel sickness and what felt like incipient night blindness. In short, I quickly realised that over 90 minutes spent commuting in the car bent me out of shape. Mentally. I was seriously close to buying a BMW 5 series, that’s how deranged I had gotten before Christmas. Fortunately I was pulled back from the German automobile brink, but physically I have been altered, perhaps for ever…
I finished with the super commute last week, so this week I started as I mean to go on, and went to a yoga class. My hastily assembled outfit caused some merriment in the children when they came home from school (now teenagers, they judge their mother harsh sartorially and often with, it has to be said, good reason). Little do they know that what I looked like in the actual yoga studio was the least of my worries.
Even a few short minutes of sitting cross-legged on the floor (or whatever the usual yoga seated pose is called) had me thinking I would never make it through a whole hour. Fortunately we moved through a few poses, which I cobbled together as best I could, with my back and right hip complaining more or less throughout. Additionally, and somewhat unexpectedly, for the class duration I seemed to be dealing with a whole small gibbon wrapped round my frontage. This beast clung on tight throughout, impeding any movements that involved bending forward; threatening to suffocate me on occasion.
This week I have learned that spending a thousand hours in a car is not a recipe for yoga success. I have also learned that one’s best efforts to get all ironed out in the body department will be considerably hindered by wearing a small gibbon, as if in an invisible baby sling. Still, I’ve signed up to go again, because at the very least something must be done about the gibbon.
I am between jobs. I finished one job yesterday and will start the next in February.
I celebrated with 10mg of valium and a trip to the dentist. The fact that I did not have to be put more under than that with chemical coshes is what I am going to call progress. Further evidence that might be considered change of sorts include:
I have ditched the world of Apple and Microsoft and migrated myself to cloud-based computing.
I am lying on a bed that does not need changing, with a silk pillow and net curtains that are clean.
The dog has developed agoraphobia, so rather than taking him on a nice walk, I might have to walk myself.
I have ditched eating meat.
I have stopped wishing I still lived in London.
I have decided to let some stuff go. That happened yesterday. Today is a new day.