Yesterday I rang my mobile phone provider to bleat something about ‘when am I out of my contract, please sir?’
The stern reply was not yet, but you could talk to someone to see what we could do, yada, yada, yada; blah, blah, blah.
I couldn’t be bothered with it, so I just muttered something about wanting shot of the Crapberry, thanks anyway, and hung up. My main beef with said item is it sticks on ‘O’ or ‘+’ and often times it is a battle to get something out there not full of ooooooooooooooooo s or ++++++++++++++++++ s. Plus it freezes. A lot. Oh and the camera is terrible.
Within an hour, I had an email from RIM, the makers of the Crapberry (apt manufacturers name, I think), imploring me to consider upgrading to the new SuperCrackCrapBerry.
I was out in the general murk this morning with the dog and on the way back I was aware it felt like the sun was trying to make an appearance. I thought I might try and photograph a proliferation of green plant psychedelia on the verge, but when I crossed the road I noticed the sun shining, at my feet.
It hadn’t broken through the clouds, but somehow its reflection in the huge puddles on the road magnified its rays. It faded nearly as abruptly as it had appeared but that didn’t stop the dog and I, dodging the traffic as it barrelled round the blind bend, from trying to catch a few rays to share on here.
It’s like I’m trying to spite Oscar Wilde who said, ‘We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.’ This is more like, I am in the gutter and I find all kinds of cosmic entities right there, thank you very much….
Earlier this week the children and I hopped on the pink line from Paddington to Liverpool Street.
We passed easily through the station that was my nemesis in my twenties: Edgware Road.
I well remember repeatedly kicking the metal station sign there in a commuting frustration back in the day.
Nearly twenty years later the Hammersmith & City line looks as down-at-heel as I do. This is not helped, although also curiously enhanced, by taking shots with the no-flash rubbish camera on the Crapberry.
Taking photos of people feels intrusive but not so much when they are through the window, across the line and on the other platform. The Crapberry is so Crap that the potential shot that made my heart race was missed as a train rushed through in the opposite direction, obscuring my view at the crucial moment.
Where rubbish photos can’t go, the words step in. I prefer photos to words sometimes, but they can’t do everything.
Somewhere between Baker Street and Kings Cross a boy gets on with his family, fully in the grip of a panic attack caused by Mind the Gap. He takes a while to stop sobbing, his forehead leaning on his mother’s shoulder. The fear, becalmed, kicks in again as he realises he has to get off the train. His legs, quaking under his emotional overload, look incongruous in the whitest boxfresh trainers. His parents, who look old enough to be his grandparents, treat him with a mixture of sympathy (mother), studied indifference (father), embarassment (both). His mother gives the boy and his sister a Polo Mint each, to help. The sweets are as white as his trainers. His sister wears a hat and no attack of panic.
I cannot help but feel glad that the boy is not getting off at Bank. The gap there is both high and wide, probably because the platform is, unusually, curved. I would ask my grandpa why? if he were alive to ask. I think of the Central Line on the London Underground as his, although he was involved in the extension out further east, past South Woodford. I also think of the time that I nearly lost my youngest down the gap at Bank when she was much younger and smaller.
Yes, Bank is a fearsome station. The trains come roaring in there from the distance, the shiny but furious rails scream in advance of their arrival, the warm wind whooshes in your face.
I am glad that the boy is not going to Bank; riding the Central Line is inclined to make me cry.
For our own journey we have no Polo Mints, wear muddy boots and have no front to maintain. Better to ride the tube like that if you can. There must be many other passengers that want to sob and quake on the trains these days. Who can blame them?