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Devon Tales – Andy the Landy

The Wray Barton Wrecking Crew is a full ten years and a bit younger than me, but when I am fortuitous enough to spend time with her I am always left in mind-boggled awe at her capabilities and talents. This weekend I was indeed so boggled at times I was left wondering if we were, in fact, entirely related. I worked the possibilities through in my mind and was left with the slim chance that if one of us were changelings it was more likely to be me. I remember when she was first born and she is unmistakeably that same personage still. I, on the other hand, left my mother in a state of unconsciousness for a week with my difficult delivery so might quite easily have been switched. Either that or the Wray Barton One took all my organisational abilities when she exited the womb, seeing as I had forgotten to take them earlier.

Anyway, just I was pondering the differences I found a very big same. We spoke on the phone yesterday and she had cleaned out her car. Why? I asked incredulously having been carted stocklike in it and its rich aroma through the combes and wrays of Devon at the weekend. Because, she said, Someone is getting A Lift in it.

I know this feeling. Only on Monday I suspected I might have to give my boss a lift with minutes to spare. I dragged the reversible picnic (dog) blanket over the passenger seat, threw some rubbish in the boot whilst leaving a window open and hoping the dog smell was not too pungent. You can’t smell it yourself you see. So there in our Last Train to Scuzzville cars we are most undubitably related.

If you are in similar dog mobeel boat make sure you include the following in your cleaning programme:

Remove all dog snot from the back window
Dusting the dashboard
A thorough hoovering of the upholstery
Place an air-freshener in the cup holder.

Too late I heard today that the best cleaner for dog doings is this enzyme based cleaner. I haven’t checked and verified, but it might be worth a whirl sometime folks. Oh what exciting lives we lead.


Triptych: Aunt, Niece, Mallet

 NB. WBWC I’ll need someone to keep reminding me about the dancing horses and Lady Gaga, else I’ll forget.