Posted by J Russell
If you have a mental image of a contorted feline, all twisted limbs, shoved in a box and mighty pissed off about its current status – stop right there. That’s not what’s this is about. I will however will be playing fast and loose with various theories (probability, quantum but probably not statistics).
I’ve struggled with a fear of flying since 2004. Shortly after Amberleigh House won the Grand National for Ginger McCain, I boarded a flight from Kingston, Jamaica back to London. It may have been Heathrow, it could have been Gatwick – I can’t remember which. It may be that you think that detail doesn’t matter, but actually it does, because did you know Gatwick ONLY HAS ONE RUNWAY? The difficulty with this arrangement at Gatwick is that if something goes wrong on the sole landing strip – those aircraft waiting to land there are fucked. And, as the World’s Busiest single runway that’s a lot of planes stacking up in the air…
Anyway, I digress. Back in Jamaica the plane took off, night fell, turbulence started. The seat belt sign was on for most of that flight, so much so that going to use the toilet felt like taking one’s life in one’s hands – which in a sense it was. Unsecured people’s heads smashing through the ceiling of the cabin didn’t happen on that flight, but it can and does happen – notably recently on a plane from Singapore to London. Sadly, turbulence does cause injuries when you aren’t strapped to the seat and god alone knows how the pilot and first officer actually fly the plane at the same time…
Anyway, flying back from the Caribbean I was a six months pregnant woman so utilising some sort of secret industrial bladder strength wasn’t an option and I had to unbelt myself to literally brave the trip to the loo. I am not sure I have ever felt so vulnerable. Irresponsible too. I was travelling with my partner and two year old daughter. As I perched on the terrible toilet seat to pee, suspended 30,000 plus feet in the air over the Atlantic I was metaphorically shitting myself.
I learned a lot about humans that night (mostly that we are dully sheeplike in extremis) and since then I’ve found out a lot more about aviation generally in a bid to overcome my fear. One rule of those doing the actual flying is:
Aviate, Navigate, Communicate
This maxim explains the deafening silence from the flight deck and the interminable illumination of the seat belt sign nearly all the way from Jamaica. The Captain didn’t communicate anything to us the passengers, because he was too busy flying the damn plane through god knows what. I also now know that thunderstorms, despite the widely-touted claims about the robust nature of modern aircraft, are dangerous to planes and all who fly in them and, where possible, flight crew aim to give them a ten mile wide berth.
That night the plane plummeted up and down more than once. It was awful. And it seemed endless. I have since wondered if we were in a series of storms or if it was the plain old turbulence. What’s no comfort in these situations are statistics. Statistics allow us to rationalise the danger we feel that we might be in. One such statistic might be: of every 100 million people that fly every year, only 2 will die in an airplane accident. That statistic does nothing to reassure my overactive amygdala because it doesn’t make sense. After all, common sense not statistics dictate that if a jumbo jet goes down, more than 2 people out of around only 300 on board are going to die. I’m no math genius but numerically 300 is nowhere near 100 million. It’s simple common sense that tells us that in each individual disaster just about everyone is going to die. And over the Atlantic, in the middle of the night, you are all going to die. That’s a fact. Statistics just can’t help with any of that.
So when I board a plane then, I draw zero comfort from statistics. Instead I am focused on probability which is an entirely different kettle of fish. Statistics based on what has happened across the history of aviation tell me the plane will safely convey me from A to B and that my current chances of death on any flight are 1 in 50 million – good odds. Probability tells me that the proposition is more nuanced than that. Probability factors in all kinds of other things like: drunk, suicidal, over-tired, hungover, unhealthy or even one-armed pilots; maintenance crews missing important mechanical things that I don’t know the word for, the weather, ice, sand storms, volcanic eruptions, birdstrike, clear air turbulence that the airplane radar can’t detect, terrorists, plane flaws like those fires on the Dreamliners or metal fatigue in DC10s (I am a child of the 1960s – just) and hijackers. Probability will need to take into consideration the training the flight crew have and have not had, the amount of fuel that the plane has taken on, the nature of the route, and all the other planes that might be out there. It will also have to figure out how likely it is that a whole national Air Traffic Control system can go down, like the UK’s did towards the end of last year. I can’t do the math to say what probability theory tells me about my chances on any given flight are – the variables are difficult to quantify and, well just too variable.
Which brings me to the cat thing. As far as I am concerned, and now I have typed this up I have a horrible feeling that I have written this post before, when I board a plane it’s an either or situation. Like Schrödinger’s cat in the box, in the metal belly of the plane, I enter state of two possibilities – alive or dead – and no-one, including me, will know which possibility will have the upper hand until someone opens the box.
This post has obviously been occasioned by recent events over the Java Sea. It is also mindful that only yesterday a 7 year old girl knocked at the door of a house in Kentucky. She was bleeding and barefoot and the sole survivor of a plane crash that killed all the other four people on board, including her parents. Statistics and probability are no help to her – they only truly inform insurance companies and gamblers and aren’t so much applicable to the indivdual human condition.
Number crunching has it’s place, but we can learn a lot more from cats.
Posted by J Russell
We weren’t designed to fly were we? Yet we non-flap-your-wings humans have managed to design magnificent flying machines that exist precisely for that purpose. They fly, and we hitch a lift. Still, even though I am not personally doing the flying, I feel that I am somehow heavily involved in the process and, therefore, the outcome. Control issues anyone?
Now, there are many different approaches to managing the fear of flying and I have tried a few:
For the best part of five years I didn’t get on a plane at all. Unfortunately, if the need does arise to take a flight, the fear has now considerably festered and possibly increased. The avoidance method also adversely affects your family and work sometimes. Nonetheless, this remains my preferred method.
Whilst in flight mode: watch a film, read a book, pretend you are somewhere else entirely. This method is quite effective until something suddenly happens to remind you that you are on a plane. The innocent reminder induces instant panic mode, thus undoing all the good work of the distraction.
I tried this the other year. It worked inasmuch I could board the plane, it failed however to make the experience less stressful. It also made me behave in an even more odd fashion than usual. Gently banging your forehead on the seat in front? Not a good look.
On this occasion I am employing some new tactics. The first has been not to dwell on the flight in advance. This is a bit of a balancing act as when travelling certain logistical details need to be arranged and discussed. I have found by doing or thinking about only one thing a day has helped. If you talk to me about flying and I say, please could we talk about something else? it is because my guts are churning and anxiety is running high.
I am also packing some travel sickness tablets, Stugeron to be precise, as they have a slightly somnolent effect on me. I am hoping that, if necessary, I can ramp this up a bit by washing them down with a glass of wine.
Finally, I am making a last minute dash to a hypnotherapist. I’ve never visited one before so here’s hoping. If the session manages to even calm pre-flight nerves that will be worth it…
Fear of flying is essentially my fear of death distilled, so on account of the impending flight I was planning my funeral the other day whilst walking the dog. I had gone so far as to ask a friend to keep the instructions in an envelope. There is no need for a will; I have nothing. Then I realised that, if the worst came to the worst, it would be unlikely that there would be anything left of me to burn anyway so I could quit worrying about those arrangements at least. This is what fear does to the mind, well mine anyway. Let’s see what gives at the hypnotherapist shall we?