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A reason to be grumpy

One word: George. I have heard some strong language from media pundits about tomorrow’s spending review.

The market wants to see the streets of Whitehall run with blood

This is a ludicrous macro economic experiment that no other country is doing

I don’t know enough about economics to form an opinion either way but it seems clear that growth is key to climbing out of stagnation and as someone said this week “the UK economy is just bumping along on the bottom”. He didn’t say the bottom of what. I suppose if it was Katie Perry’s or Kylie Minogue’s no-one would mind too much. Business wants to grow, but that can surely only be hampered by the upturn in unemployment that these cuts are certainly going to lead to.

I had an overnight theory: that Osborne is a pasty-faced masochist who must have enjoyed some kind of brutal childhood at a particularly jolly public school, but his Wikipedia page says he merely attended some gaff in West London so he probably spent every night tucked up in his own bed with his teddy. Bang goes that theory. Still though, he just gives off this air of half-enjoying the things he’s talked about. Alan Johnson the Shadow Chancellor is a far more avuncular figure. Or, even, bring back Kenneth Clarke. Osborne is cut from the same cloth of previous Tory pantomime villain Chancellors: Nigel Lawson – boooo, Norman Lamont – hisssss.

I don’t think I am going to like the message, I don’t like the messenger and I have realised that he shares a birthday with two ex-boyfriends (23rd May) neither of which had happy outcomes. This relationship is doomed George.

Now if a certain blue-cardiganed colleague and friend is reading this I would just like to say peel yourself off the ceiling because you are The Tory With Heart my darling, and I wish you were in charge x

I don't work with Joan - she shares a birthday with George