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Finding some ♥ at the bottom of my bag

Unlike BBC Radio 4 I would definitely end a major series on a Monday. It’s been a bit trying, perhaps painful in the case of the needle, confronting the disarray of my luggage. I’ve likened myself to a disenchanted mule and tried to blame the global capitalist society for my mess making ways. But now all that has to come to an end as the bag is a little lighter, a little tidier and good for at least another year of abuse before I consider a new one.

Before we come to the final item I thought I would, for the sake of truth and integrity, just do an inventory of the remaining items. It seems right, and it fills a few lines on a rainy Monday morning.

  • Paracetamol, Alka-Seltzer and Migraleve – my friend says the latter is just expensive, pink co-codamol so expect that to join the pharmaceuticals in my bag tout suite.
  • A magnifying heart mirror that fell out of a heart-shaped compact more than a year ago. Perhaps it’s time for that to come out.
  • A metal credit card case that a student gave me. Shame it didn’t have a pre-paid Visa in it too. Decorated with Shakespeare.
  • A Diet Aid essential roller ball. I don’t diet but I do roller ball. It is purported to “help diet focus”. As I don’t have such a focus I don’t know what it does for me, but I like the smell.
  • A black balloon with my college’s logo on. You never know when you need one to give a kid.
  • Various ironmongery: two pairs of scissors – don’t ask – a kirby grip, two more needles, one nail and one very nice coiled spring approx 2 cm long.
  • Two plastic boxes for memory cards – I can’t remember where the memory cards are
  • A lanyard with three stars on it “Improving strongly in Southend” – I wear the non-branded one thanks very much.
  • A 20p, a 5p and countless 1ps
  • A homeopath’s appointment card dated 07/04/08
  • Old rail tickets to Devon
  • 5 pen lids (no pens)
  • Tiny bits of foil
  • Sand and fluff

and this

From a Sussex beach