Doing my annual King Canute impression. Aggregate score so far: Sea 42 – Me 0.
Unfair, as it always has the home advantage #time&tide
Cardiff University sewed kittens eyes shut in taxpayer funded experiments http://ow.ly/cs562 Like virtually all vivisection – pointless
Resisting the strong urge to tell the rest of the beach to sit down and SHUT UP.
Bet King C didn’t have to put up with sunseeking plebs.
Realise I am turning into my mother. I love her, but still, oh dear #notready
There is some eye-watering gusset action down here. Girls, check your rear view before leaving home, I beg you #southend
Lovers’ tiff. Man wearing sweater on head – she’s conducting face to face argument and tel con simultaneously. Multi-tasking emotions
She’s off phone, employing finger pointing tactic. He’s shouting, sweater still on head.
Bit early. #chill
‘It’s Southend – no-one cares. No-one is going to check you out’ #shockhorror #southend #Icare
‘Where’s the sea? Where’s the sea?’ ‘I’ll take you for a walk to find the water…’
Chelsea FC beach towel, Harrods carrier bag, deckchair hire, still arguing. Still wearing his sweater as a yashmak. Still #dre
‘You have to wait 20 minutes for your food to go down.’
Do you? Oh dear, I’ve been doing the wrong thing my whole life.
Illegal spaniel on the beach alert. Tut.
Stuck here now until the argument ends or the tide comes in, whichever is sooner.
Sweater removed from head: argument over. All smiles. Yay. Says he can’t swim.
Tide’s close enough now to see its line of scum. Doesn’t seem to put people off going in. Parents bawling at their kids behind me.
The danger of an adventure is worth a thousand days of ease and comfort
Argument man wears his black woollen socks in the sea.
Wet socks, caked in sand = interesting look
Wearing socks in the sea, now that’s an adventure.
Sea 42 – Me 1
Tide turns in my favour, for now. Another adventure.