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Taking my name in vain

Last week my current account was relieved by a scammer of £600 quid, most of which I didn’t have anyway.

Things have changed since the last time this happened, a year or two ago when I had to go into the branch, fill out forms, wait weeks for a refund. This time I had a refund the following day and a replacement debit card the day after that.

This week I got sent a letter from the Yorkshire Building Society thanking me for opening an Internet Saver account. They gave me an account number and everything and said I had 42 days to make an opening deposit before the account I DIDN’T OPEN automatically closes. Looks rather like they automatically opened it. Not unlike that wretched insurance company that gave me some kind of insurance that I didn’t ask for either. This new form of pushing product beggars belief.

On the other hand, it could just be some kind fraudster trying to save in my name instead of spend. If anyone else wants to join in via electronic transfer – please feel free. Here are the details.

Bank Sort Code: 69-92-04
Account Number: 47328497
Reference: 4732849720

Apparently I’ve also agreed, as a member, to assign any windfall payment in the first five years to their Charitable Foundation. And as a member they welcome my feedback through Member Panels, or to attend Member Question Time (only if a Dimbleby’s hosting) or call their Member Suggestion Scheme on 0800 0565 252.

Again, feel free. If I had the least bit of energy I’d be fuming.

There’s no photo for this is there? There just bloody isn’t 😕

Swinton’s Swindle Part 2

Blood pressure having returned to nearly normal I will resume.

Bearing in mind this: that if I had not called they would merrily have commenced fleecing me by Direct Robbery next month.

So someone answered the phone in the call centre eventually and I explained my problem and she said that this had all been launched by some (deluded) colleague in Sheffield. This must be on the script entitled

What to say when some mug punter rings up to report unwanted insurance policies not taken out viz dogs, teeth, phones, lives etc.

Whatever, I said, I don’t want it.

The script said Even though we will generously shove you 75 whole sterling pounds a night if you are ever tragically and accidentally in hospididddle for up to 9 whole miserable but enriching months?

Even if. I said. I don’t WANT it.

The script replied Even if we dramatically cut the monthly premium from the £7.98 quoted in your unsolicited letter to a paltry £3.99 – right here, right now???

I will admit to a pause here. I listened to a bit of Fat Boy Slim in my head. Could this be value?

But the script proceeded …for the first six months whereafter we will reinstate the original premium quoted you lucky but likelytosoonlosealimb in a horrible accident divbrain.

I am trying not to do my best Tourette’s inspired swearing by this point, but I said, no I still don’t want it. Not interested, not ever going to have an accident. I am a careful person what risk assesses everyTHING and won’t even get on a plane in case the pilot has a bad hair day.

Undeterred scripted chat continues:Even when we are offering to just give you the first three months Free Gratis, not paying a penny and then you can cancel our arses after the period. Although our business models project a good proportion of you dumb consumers will just forget all about it and will pay out via the Direct Robber scheme and live to 80 with no accidental hospitalisation. Ever.

By now I am looking for a cliff to jump off. How many ways? I didn’t ask for it not never and I don’t bloody want it neither. See how I had to resort to double negatives squared there, in the hope this might override the script?

Ok she says (the script) I quite understand. But before I go I have to put down the REASON you don’t want it.

Tiny Temper

or the Consumer as a Cash Cow but, moo, at least twice as bovine.

I used to have anger management issues, but I’m fine now. Well more or less. It is best described as “losing it” temporarily. For any bystanders I am aware it is pretty loud and unpleasant and perhaps scary and therefore not at all desirable. So I keep a lid on it. For myself it is experienced as hot rage that makes your heart pound and your blood rush as well as the raising of volume and the flinging of things. So, it’s just as well it doesn’t happen much at all any more. An outburst, a proper outburst, is probably a quarterly occurence with mini-blips in-between.

So having worked so hard on this it does not please me when my blood starts rushing and I get all hot and want to shout on account of a letter from my car insurance company that says:

Re: Your Personal Accident Insurance Policy
Thank you for taking this out with us…

We now have pleasure in enclosing your policy documents…

As we are giving you the first 3 months FREE…the first monthly premium will be deducted automatically by Direct Debit…

I was expecting a renewal document from them anyway for the car, but not this. I have not asked for this insurance and what they have done is transferred my banking details from my car insurance onto a new document I didn’t ask for and called it a Direct Debit. So obviously I had to call them, and the way the conversation unfolded has made my blood boil, literally.

So when I have cooled down I might manage to type the rest, but before I do let me just say this.

I know I didn’t ask for this damn insurance policy because most insurance is a bloody scam and consumers are just frightened or browbeaten into paying for nefarious policies for everything from mobile phones to false teeth, all of which keeps the bloated insurance industry afloat when they are just a bunch of bandits. And you should go and cancel every policy that is not strictly necessary or required by law and see how it doesn’t affect your life and how much more money you have to use more wisely.

Ok.

Cut the crap and give us your money